Chicks Rule is about us. Women.
Women who work so hard at life for ourselves, for our families, for our communities and we love it because we rock at it.
Our days can be filled with the mundane and the wonderful as we leap hurdles at work, at home, at the school gate, at social events and more. Through these interactions we connect with people and provide surface information about our lives but there isn’t any time or energy for deep reflection and sharing with our peers, namely, other women.
What comes from reflection and sharing is nourishment; nourishment and inspiration as we are ignited by other women’s achievements, challenges, or even the mundane. By listening and supporting each other we are able to scratch deeper than the surface and uncover stories that may have otherwise lain dormant in our busy world.
Perhaps there was a time before life got busy when you would spend a whole day with your friends just talking - about your views, your thoughts, your plans. You would feel spent, nurtured, your problem tended to from an afternoon of going deep into conversation with your girlfriends and inspired to carry on with support.
So, what if you had at least three hours a month with women who allowed you to sit and talk and also listen? Who tended to you and ignited you to share experiences of the past, meet challenges of the present and plan for the future.
This is Chicks Rule.
All you need is a small group of women, a bottle of wine or pot of tea and some simple questions, for example:
• What’s happening in your life at the moment?
• Where do you want to be?
• Who/What inspires you?
• What is a moment that changed your life.
Then let women do what they do best; share and nurture.
Thanks for letting us share this with you.
Bernie, Pippa, Janey, Nicole and Tanja.
Take the time to outline your thoughts. What is it you are looking for? What has led you to starting a women’s group? What are you hoping to offer to other women? If you’re not sure what it is you’re hoping for, say that but ask people to come anyway and help you to create it. Include a link back to this website to help explain the concept if need be.
Set the date far enough in advance so that people can book it in and start reflecting on what your invitation. Your group doesn’t have to be made up of your friends only. Perhaps you’ve met someone and think they would have an interesting story to tell, perhaps there is someone who inspires you or, you want to invite your best mate who you can’t seem to connect with anymore. Be bold in your invitations. Congratulations! Sending an invite and asking people to come along to an evening of open and honest discussion can be scary but you did it! Well done.
Outline your hopes for the group but be flexible with your ideas. You may find it becomes something different to what you thought you needed. Give everyone a chance to talk if they want to, you will find that women will instinctively do what women do best, talk, open up, listen, nurture.
At the end of the meeting ask if anyone would be keen to meet again and at what frequency. As you go on, suggest if members would like to take turns in hosting. It is a good idea to keep the meetings as a regular date ie first Wednesday of the month. This way people can plan in advance and there is not the impossible situation of trying to juggle everyone’s calendars. Also, it’s good to be clear about what happens if someone can’t make it. Do you cancel? Reschedule? Continue?.
It’s a good idea for the host to come up with a theme or a question for people to think about in the lead up to the meeting. It’s easy for us all to talk about the stuff that’s happening on the surface but when we have a question like, ‘Who inspires you and why?” It makes us dig a little deeper. See IDEAS for some themes to get you started.
You might like to create a closed Facebook Group. This is a great way to share links, articles, podcasts or books that are discussed on the night as well as helping you organise future dates.
You might not need this but sometimes it’s good to be clear about what happens if someone can’t make it. Do you cancel? Reschedule? Continue? Chicks Rule can be a really soulful AND fun experience… from mulling over the deep to crying with laughter Chicks Rule should also be a space that lightens your step.
You will (hopefully) get to the point of loving your Chicks Rule group and want other women to have what you have. But….you also don’t have the room to expand your own group. That’s okay, direct them back here with all the information and give them the power to create their own group.
Describe a defining moment in your life.
Where do you see yourself in ten years’ time? How do you want to get there?
What do you want to be remembered for? Or delve into the powerful exercise of writing your own eulogy.
Who is someone who inspires you and why.
Describe your proudest moment and/or achievement.
What are your immediate goals and ambitions? Check out some coaching techniques, such as GROW to help motivate your answers.
What are your values? How did you come to a set of values? Have you ever had to ‘test’ your values?
If there was one thing you could change about yourself what would it be?
What do you spend a lot of time worrying about but wish you wouldn’t?
It’s your group to do what you like and only you will know how a group will interact but going from experience our advice would be no more than six people. It’s good for everyone to have a chance to be heard and if you too many then your night can get a little long or conversation may get lost if everyone breaks in to smaller groups.
It doesn’t have to be but this website is mainly aimed at Mums. It’s easy for Mum’s to talk and think about everyone else before they get to themselves and generally by time they do get to themselves there is no time or energy left. Chicks Rule is designed to give Mum’s a nudge to start talking about themselves again and to save the kid-talk for the school gate.
Of course! Blokes need to talk about themselves too, especially to their peers. A Blokes Rule will be different purely because men and women communicate differently but in today’s society it is so important for males to have the opportunity to talk and talk some more.
No. Chicks Rule is something that just stuck for us. While we’re quite happy for you to call your group Chicks Rule (because they do!) it’s entirely up to you how you want your group to be identified.
Chances are high that it will work. People long to be asked, ‘Tell me about yourself,’ and you will probably find after the first night, anyone who attends will be riding high on adrenaline from being involved in such an intimate interaction. In the off-chance that it’s not a success…so what? It’s nothing personal and there’s nothing wrong with inviting people around for a drink to talk about themselves and to be inspired by others, if people aren’t into it, that’s okay. You might find the opportunity arises again with the right group of people. That’s the beauty of creating this group at this age, we’re all big kids now and know we can say no to something without it being the end of the world.
I thought Chicks Rule would help me to ‘do more’ but it has actually taught me to pause and ‘do less’. I am a different person today thanks to the beautiful women who inspire me to slow down, dig deeper, be patient, laugh (a lot), and live with gratitude.
I had really no idea what to expect when I was asked to join ‘Chicks Rule’ and never thought that the group of ‘chicks’ that I met that first night, would now, two years later, be such an important part of my life. During our monthly meetings we open up and feel safe to share stories and feelings, we cry and laugh together. The pre-defined discussion topics for each evening lead to deep and meaningful discussions. Many small and some more substantial changes in my life can be linked to ‘Chicks Rule’. This beautiful group has shown me the power that women can generate when they truly connect and.... I feel so blessed to be part of it.
I absolutely treasure Chicks Rule! It is such a safe place where I can be vulnerable to share freely without fear or judgement. The women give me their full and undivided attention as I spill my deepest darkest fears, challenges, life lessons, dreams and hopes. Sharing my experiences and seeing my brilliant friends deal with the same life challenges as I do, makes me realise I am not alone having these thoughts! I find being in the company of such extraordinary, honest women truly inspiring. I love hearing their stories and it is remarkable witnessing the transformation in us all as we start to show more self-compassion, take more risks and discover what’s really important in life. We always seem to have a good belly laugh too so I always leave feeling refreshed, grateful, nourished and inspired! I hope that all other women out there set up similar groups because Chicks really do Rule!!
Chicks Rule has allowed me to take precious 'time out' from a busy family life, and given me the freedom to focus on myself in a safe and nurturing environment. Even when I feel like I have nothing to give, I come away from our chats feeling renewed and energised. I feel truly blessed to be able to share such quality time with these amazing woman and connect on a deeper level...... sharing, listening, supporting, learning, challenging and inspiring....and most importantly...laughing!
This group has been a such a breath of fresh air for me. It’s been a space to make deep, genuine friendships, in an atmosphere of intentional support through our dreams and goals, as well as struggles and challenges. It’s been a safe place for all of us to share with openness, honesty and vulnerability in an intimate environment that allows for so much more than day-to-day superficial chit-chat. One of the richest things I’ve come away with from Chicks Rule is the caring, supportive, encouraging “voices” of these women when I’ve been consumed by negative self-talk. I feel like I have a whole team on my side, empowering me to be more self-compassionate, pursue endeavours where I might be hesitating, and grab life with more gratitude and grace. It’s been invaluable, and I’d love every woman I know to have a ‘team’ on her side in that way too!